Green Lantern - Bad Movie Review

Green Lantern (2011)

Marvel comics were an unstoppable force to be reckoned with even before Disney added it to its entertainment arsenal. With such an impeccable successful film slate, it’s no wonder Marvel has every other company running scared; especially Warner Bros/DC comics. Aside from “Batman” and “Superman” films, DC comics have produced failure after failure with little reason to have any hope for a successful shared movie comic universe. So when “Casino Royale” director Martin Campbell prepared an epic 100 million dollar venture known as “Green Lantern” with ANOTHER 100 million backing its advertisements; DC was hoping for a solid gold trophy…instead they got a Death Star sized turd.

Cocky pilot Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) goes from flying planes to flying across planets and galaxies when a mysterious, magical ring “chooses” him to be part of an intergalactic force of peace keepers known as the Green Lantern corps. With the ability to conjure anything his mind can conceive; Jordan must be trained to use his new powers to protect innocents, like his on-off-again girlfriend Carol Ferris (Blake Lively) from the forces of evil: namely the planet destroying space beast Parallax (Clancy Brown) and the psychic mutant Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard). The first thing you’ll notice about this film is that it’s painfully evident where the 200 million went to…the computer effects; the movie is almost two hours long and I can’t recall a single scene that didn’t have flashy, tacky computer graphics detailing everything and everyone.

In fact, once Jordan gets his costume and the powers from the ring; how anyone can be fooled by his “disguise” is as laughable as the fact that his suit looks like a green ribbed-for-her-pleasure glow in the dark condom. I understand everything with Lantern’s powers requires computer magic but did his costume and his mask need it too? Hector Hammond’s make up for example is actually phenomenal; he looks perfectly grotesque and proves practical effects still pack bigger punches over green screened ones. Of course, all the computer glitz and glamour don’t matter when even your cast doesn’t want to be here. Reynolds is usually the laugh riot of the party, even when he’s barely in it (like X-men Origins: Wolverine).

Here, Reynolds acts like he was forced to do this film and has absolutely no passion, desire or interest to any part of this film. Lively, Sarsgaard, Mark Strong, no one seems to care about how they look or souGreen Lantern Blu Ray Covernd on camera and it’s probably because the script also has no effort put into it whatsoever. It’s actually impressive how un-funny this movie is; you have to write one hell of an unimaginably rotten script to actually make Reynolds not funny. Not one line of dialog managed to convey any basic emotions: laughter, joy, sadness, anger, excitement; not a single emotion could be felt from start to finish. “Green Lantern” doesn’t know how to process its massive mythology effectively; there’s a lot of material in here to digest and even long running times won’t do the story any good if you don’t give a crap about who you’re watching.

There are plenty of references and terminology that comic book fans will love to hear and see but I don’t think any film of this quality is capable of doing any source material justice; I haven’t even read the Lantern comics and I can tell you this is a terrible representation of Green Lantern. Overall, “Green Lantern” had all the supposed markings of becoming a huge success; trademark name director and a budget the size of a solar system. But it’s clear DC comics isn’t taking any time to develop a worthy product, they just want to crap out something flashy and computerized so they can make several ill-fated attempts to usurp Marvel’s movie throne. Nothing and no one worked even remotely right in this picture and I’m sure the Lantern comics are amazing books to read; but after this disastrous setback, I’m not sure anyone is brave enough to stomach another “Green Lantern” adventure; myself included.

I give “Green Lantern” 1 star out of 4.